Femin-insight: If you no longer want to hookup….

November 26, 2012

The first “real” advice your father really ever gave you about boys –

“All they care about is sex”
Why did he say that? Because the last person he would EVER want his daughter to be associating with is him, when he was 14,15,25….

We’re told from that age that guys will “fuck anyone”. If a guy no longer wants to have sex with you, they are pretty much saying that even though guys will “fuck anyone” they would rather not “fuck anyone” at all then fuck you. So basically, everyone is a better option then you and even if in the past you’ve made the cut you no longer do. That’s why when someone suddenly doesn’t want to hookup with you its so offensive…
…and if you don’t give an explanation stating otherwise, shes that much more likely to assume she’s no longer attractive. Think about it, “all boys care about is sex”, “the way to a man’s heart is through his ___”, we want to be loved- so we wear high heels- which lengthen and sculpt our legs, showoff our cleavage in a V-neck, own “pushup bras”.

So if you no longer want the consistent sex, I either….

a. Have a personality so bad even a blow job doesn’t make hanging out with me bearable

b. My awesome personality still doesn’t make up for the disgusting image of me naked.
How insulting is that? That’s why girls take it so hard when you don’t want to hookup/date them anymore- because they think they’re the last person ON EARTH you’d wanna get rowdy with. “he’ll hook up with anyone”… he won’t hook up with you.That is why girls run to the nearest planet fitness when they get dumped, they think they’re not sexy. That’s why girls change their hair when they experience rejection, they need the attention- if not from you, from everyone else.
When you start hooking up with someone else…

  • We automatically start an inner rivalry with them. We may not want to hook up with you anymore, we may not see any redeeming qualities in either of you, but you’re choosing to be with her instead of me at 2 a.m…. so what about her is better than me? Something has to be.
  • If we like them a lot, we hate that we like them, and therefore want everyone else to hate them too. If he doesn’t think you’re better then her then everyone else has to.
  • …but once you stop hooking up with her its the greatest accomplishment becoming her best friend. There is nothing more powerful than two women uniting together to analyze all of your repetitive wrong doings.
  • She goes from being a “cute” and “really nice girl” in my mind, to being “ugly” and “some slut” the next day.
  • Even if I don’t know you’ve hooked up with someone else. I automatically assume you’re hooking up with any bitch that you’ve “recently added” or you’ve liked a picture of.

Although it is possible that we stop answering your calls because the sight of you was suddenly visually disturbing to us, its a lot less likely.

  • If a girl hooks up with you once, she’s likely to do it again because girls like sex, but they DON’T like the idea of having had sex with a lot of people. No girl wants to be considered a slut, but no girl wants to experience a dry spell.
  • Usually when we stop hooking up with you its because we ACTUALLY don’t have time, have found someone else who wants something more then a “hookup”…. OR MOST LIKELY we actually like you and don’t want stronger feelings to develop because we know its (usually) not mutual.

But the reason why she’s become “crazy”?

If a girl appears to be more interested and available after the termination of a hookup (or fade-out) its because suddenly you are her biggest critic and therefore the person she has to impress the most. Sounds weird, and you may at first disagree, but think about it… She’ll do anything to gain your approval. She doesn’t think she’s doing this necessarily, and she doesn’t consciously do so. But by choosing not to hookup with her, the one thing “guys want”; she feels vulnerable and offended. Therefore, the automatic reaction is to surpass “your exceptions” to make herself feel more secure and self-assured. That’s why she’s throwing herself at you, you hurt her and she wants your approval. She needs reassurance that SHE is not-annoying/hot. And she’ll try and get it through sex, the one thing you’ll definitely want.

She seems a little different then usual? Probably because she’s going through a self crisis! If you don’t want “sex” from her, the easiest thing it is to get a guy to accept; suddenly she doubts whether or not she’s cute/funny/attractive AT ALL. That’s pretty harsh!


  • Because I texted you, and you didn’t respond, and then you update your twitter. People only use twitter from their phones!!!
  • I’m embarrassed when I see their friends because I think you’ve told them everything about me.Β  I tell all my friends EVERYTHING weird/rude you do, so I just assume you do the same…..
  • Those pictures of you and all those random girls on facebook? I know you only post them to piss me off, and it works.

Credits due to: Nicole Johnson and Amy Rossetti

More about Mackenzie Newcomb

  • Guy

    I love how girls hate being PRE-JUDGED by the way they dress, but because they date douchebags, they PRE-JUDGE every guy they meet from then on to also be douchebags. BREAKING NEWS: Guys aren’t all the same, same as how girls aren’t all the same either.

  • Jose Cuervo

    This is biased towards the beginning. Not every guy would run through any girl that was thrown at them unless they didn’t have the self confidence to get women that fits their own desires. When dudes set a bar for what girls they would bang…Naturally they keep that bar consistent from response of the women.

    • I see what you’re saying here. However, the message wasn’t meant to come across biased. The purpose was to explain what goes through a females head once a guy decides they no longer want to continue a (generally) strictly sexual relationship with them.