The Bachelor franchise is known for tear-stained romances, and the drama that occurs when over a dozen people are trying to bone the same person at once. The Bachelor premiered in 2002, and though the audience has grown tremendously since the beginning, some recent seasons have felt pretty dry. Did ANYONE care if Nick Viall found love??
As a viewer, it’s easy to care more about the show’s many personalities than the actual relationships themselves. This is why the hot-mess spinoff Bachelor in Paradise exists. Fan favorites, as well as forgettable contestants, enter an island getaway to drink, hookup on the beach, and fight. All this is great and all, but the show is nothing without a star. Some past stars include:
Corinne Olympios, known as the nap queen with a platinum vagine from the most recent season of the Bachelor.
Lace Morris, the girl who accidentally got too drunk and jealous of the other girls before the first Rose Ceremony even began, was the star of Ben Higgins’ season.
As for the men, honestly I find most of them bland. There are exceptions, like Wells Adams from JoJo Fletcher’s season. Wells was known for drunk live-snapping the rest of the his season once Jojo sent him home. The star of Rachel Lindsay’s season was gap-toothed dreamboat Peter Kraus, who famously didn’t want to get engaged after dating someone on a reality show for two months (#same.)
I think I speak for the nation when I say we wanted Dean Unglert to be the star of Paradise. He captured the heart of America when we watched him introduce Rachel to his unconventional family. Sadly, his fuckboy colors have shined through on the island. Like the rest of us, I’m sure he’s at home cringing while watching himself dodge sensitive Russian dream girl Kristina Schulman over nothing but his own stupidity.
It’s really easy to make fun of the people in the Bachelor franchise. That’s part of what makes the show fun. Take it from someone who got 5 minutes of fame from doing just that:
— The Bachelor (@BachelorABC) March 8, 2017
Josephine. Girl, I am sorry for the ridicule. I didn’t know it would blow up.
For true entertainment, it seems the options in the Bachelor franchise are in desperate need of a starlet. This savior is Alexis Waters, 24, of Nick Viall’s season and currently Bachelor in Paradise. She’s my pick for the next bachelorette because she’s a hilarious woman on reality tv, where women are usually set up to look helpless and flighty. Refreshingly, instead of laughing at her, we can laugh with her.
Alexis first rose eyebrows when she stepped out of the limo wearing a shark costume, claiming that it was actually a dolphin, because she was an “aspiring dolphin trainer.”
the aspiring dolphin trainer is wearing a shark costume. mmmm. stay in school, kids.
— roxane gay (@rgay) January 3, 2017
Off to a…fishy…start with the girls, it wasn’t looking good initially, but she got a rose and from there her personality really started to shine.
She’s a Jersey girl who doesn’t take any shit. She didn’t make it very far on The Bachelor, but she didn’t seem heartbroken over the loss of Nick Viall. In fact, one of my favorite things about Alexis is her open disdain for him: “I’m cool with all the girls on my season, because I didn’t really like Nick.”
— Alexis Waters (@awatazzz) August 22, 2017
The only real love we have seen from Alexis her entirety of screen time has truly been the love she has for the other girls. And of course, pizza.
— Bachelor in Paradise (@BachParadise) August 25, 2017
Alexis seems like that really cool drunk girl you meet in a bathroom who offers to french braid your hair and says she loves your shoes. Up until Alexis, the mold was very humble, big-eyed girl with lowlights and big dreams of finding love on the show. Alexis knows this is just her best bet at selling Fab Fit Fun subscriptions on Instagram for the big bucks.
If you really think about it, you’d have to be crazy to sign up for The Bachelor with the intentions and blind faith that it would result in marriage for you. However, most of these women are presented as seriously normal. Alexis was never normal, never took anything seriously, and truly makes it seems like I am just watching one of my friends do something insane on TV.
She likes to drink, make jokes, and immediately calls out guys for being dicks to her friends and herself. A lot of people relate to her and I can see why. I’m here for it. Reality TV needs more funny women who are given a chance to make their audience laugh, rather than just be the butt of the joke.
Wells agrees with me.
I vote @awatazzz for bachelor, bachelorette, president of the United States and king of the world
— Wells Adams (@WellsAdams) August 22, 2017