I’ve always taken a ballsy approach to online dating. If I have a gut-instinct that the guy I’m taking to isn’t the Craigslist killer or a “stage 5 clinger”, I’ll accept the free drink offer and give him an honest chance. Although I have yet to have a serious relationship with someone I’ve met over the internet, it isn’t something I’m opposed to. A few week ago a video called “Fat Girl Tinder Date” went viral. If you haven’t seen the video, the gist is that it was a social experiment in which guys swiped right (or showed interest) in a girl on Tinder. They then agree to go on a date. When the guy arrived to the meeting spot, the very attractive women they thought they were talking to was wearing a fat suit (which they had no idea about.) At the beginning of the video the hosts explain that regarding online dating, a women’s greatest fear is that the person she meets will be a murderer, the average guy’s fear is that the women he meets will be fat.
To your surprise, this isn’t where I begin a “BIG IS BEAUTIFUL” conversation, because that is irrelevant. I once went on a date with a guy who lied about how tall he was. At 5’5 my height is probably the most average part about me. Not only did we stand eye-to-eye, but I also had about 10 lbs on him, easily. I’ve dated short guys before, although it isn’t my preference. What did bother me was that I was misled. I went on our date expecting someone “tall, dark, and handsome” … his hair was dark I guess. If someone disappoints you on the first date, whether its due to looks or poor conversation, there certainly won’t be a second meeting. The good news is I’m still breathing, but things didn’t workout between us (obviously.)
Everyone has a physical preference. My roommate #1 likes tall guys with man-buns, roommate #2 won’t talk to you if you’re not wearing a button up and boat shoes, and roommate #3 directly correlates the size of your biceps to your datability. My dream man is of brazilian decent, wears colored jeans, and plays guitar. Being partial to a particular “type” isn’t wrong. Therefore, how can you blame the men featured in fat tinder video for their disappointment? Maybe bigger girls aren’t the majority preference, but (hypothetically) if she were honest on her profile, somebody would have been genuinely interested. It wouldn’t have been one of the guys who liked her as a supermodel, but I’d swipe left on a guy wearing Vineyard Vines and Wayfarer sunglasses…. but a lot of people would choose to do otherwise.
Although true love is sincere, dating is shallow. If you don’t find someone attractive, you probably won’t attempt to date them. The purpose of online dating is to filter those who you’d be willing to date based on the profile they’ve made for themselves. This includes, but isn’t limited to, photos. When Tinder directs you to choose 5 photos of yourself, you’re obviously going to choose pictures you consider your most attractive (in your camera roll.) You’d never put a sub-par selfie on Insta.
So now that we’ve all determined that we’ve embellished our online dating profiles, lets talk violence. Before I meet up with someone I found online I get an adrenaline rush. My mind is racing. Most likely I’m not thinking about whether or not i’m about ready to meet <3 the one <3, but how well Ok! Cupid will resolve my murder mystery. Studies have shown that men are more likely to be willing to meet someone from the internet than women. Fucking duh. If the worst thing they can foresee happening is the Photoshop “revert”, they might walk away $30 poorer, but in good health. Worst case scenario they gotta turn on their inner Shallow Hal.
Although nearly everyone I know has been on Tinder at one point or another, when I asked a group of 30 girls if any of them had met up with someone from the internet before, I was SHOCKED to hear they hadn’t. When I asked why, many of them expressed a fear of those who engage in online dating; that they are “sketchy” or “weirdos.” Although it may seem hypocritical, they too have a profile, the reason girls ignore you isn’t usually because they are shallow. They are probably just skeptical due to their pre-conceived notion that online dating is for sketch-balls, the Craigslist killer, a lonely 40-year-old blue-collar worker or desperate housewife. Realistically there is a better chance of getting bit by a shark than getting murdered on a date with someone you met online. Perhaps its good to be a skeptic, but try not be such a critic. After all, you consider yourself “normal”, the chances of a normal guy being on the same dating website as you… huge.
Tips for avoiding violence on dates:
- Find out his last name before you go. Google is your friend, for real. It may seem creepy to Google your dates, but F’that. You don’t need to reverse-stalk his Facebook pictures and creep hardcore on his ex-girlfriend, but if someone bad is out there– you should know in advance.
- Meet in a public place. I’d like to believe that anyone who is smart enough to read ~*Sparkles and Secrets*~ is intelligent to know not to go to a randos house to watch a movie or make dinner on the first date…. but it can’t hurt to reiterate it.
- Don’t jump the gun, or it might end up to your head. Okay that was a bit aggressive. What I mean is, talk to this person for a little while before meeting. It doesn’t have to be months, but give it a couple of days. If you get any sketchy-vibes you might be onto something.
- Tell a friend where you are going. Make sure they know everything about this person that you do. Don’t be ashamed…. everyone does it 😉
